Last week I made one of those decisions that although was not the most significant a man can make, will have long lasting consequences. Possibly for the rest of my working life.
I had a good job, in a prospering company which would lead to new and better opportunities for myself, and my family. Yet I decided to leave it, and go back to work for my old employer. The money is worse, opportunity developments are few and far between and the freedoms and status I had in my present job will soon be replaced with tedium and routine.
So why did I make the decision? The simple truth is I hardly see my little girl, and the little time I spent with her was spent with my head still in the job. My daughter deserves better from me than that, and indeed it is my inability to switch the pressures of the job off in my mind and spend what little time we had together as daddy and daughter.
The financial implications weigh heaviest on my mind. Questions such as am I short changing my daughters future by turning my back on a a well paid job? Will I be able to provide her with all the things she needs, all the things she likes? Will she be proud of me when shes older if I'm still an administrator, and all the non importance that entails?
I know deep down that money, status, respect etc, it doesn't mean a thing if you are all of those things and alone, or emotionally detached from those around you. My daughter needs her dad to be happy, she needs him to be around when shes taking her first steps, or speaking her first words, not with his head in a spreadsheet.
Many of you will probably think I'm mad to make the choice I made, and it was by no means an easy decision to make. However, I know I choose right every time I see her smile, and I look forward to seeing that smile a whole lot more.