18 September 2011

Don't call me four eyes

31 years of my life I lived in ignorance regarding the difficulties encountered daily by a large selection of the population. Last weekend I picked up my first ever pair of glasses. No big deal, I hear you say, and indeed at first it wasn't. My sight had improved no end simply by attaching a pair of lenses to my face with a metal frame. I could see the leaves on the trees, the birds in the sky and the creases on the faces of the Longton Saturday morning shoppers. Glorious doesn't quite cover it.

However, as the hours turned into days, all was not as simple as it at first seemed. The glasses move about during the day, sliding down my nose which leaves me at times looking like an oversexed I.T student as the glasses have a habit of sitting across my nose slightly wonky. So, I'm constantly aware of the exact angle my glasses are perched just in case I come across as looking a little simple to people who are talking to me face to face.I guess the paranoia has already crept in.

Who knew that the bridge of your nose could sweat? Glasses wearers that's who. It seems a small piece of metal is enough of a stimulant to your noses pleasure/stress nerve endings to get them all hot and bothered. It feels as good as it sounds.My dreams are also conveniently viewed through lense-less frames now.

Then there is the image concerns. Those that know me wouldn't exactly call me a sharp dresser, but as long as my flesh is covered I don't tend to bother to much what I wear. Glasses are meant to make you look smarter, but what if you are already smart pre-specs? Does your perceived IQ get a slight increase when perceived by others? If not why the hell not? Don't I deserve that little extra imagined IQ even if secretly I'm too busy pondering my sweaty nose and making sure my glasses sit correctly with a spirit level? No, probably not.

While it is taking time for me to get used to my glasses, It is interesting to see the response I have had from people since I began to wear them. People I know generally seem to think they suit, people I have just met say they cannot imagine me without them, which I really found odd, but I guess first impressions of people we meet count for a lot, think of all the people you know who wear specs, they didn't always but that's the only way you know them. I dare not even contemplate going to a theme park and tackling whatever glasses etiquette applies there, (Nemesis, now glasses on or off???) can anyone tel me if theres some kind of handbook for instances when glasses are appropriate or not? For example is the ultimate mood killer "hold on duck, let me just put me glasses away, I dunno wanna get em all steamed up"? I think it may well be.

So, i apologise for living 31 years and not acknowledging the difficulties faced by specs offenders everywhere, I hope this blog entry goes someway to building bridges between us, and eventually I will accepted as one of you. Sweaty nose and all.

1 comment:

  1. Is an oversexed I.T. student someone who once had a girl brush against their elbow?
    Man that was hot.