22 March 2012

These things that I have done (but wish I hadn't)

This will be a semi regular column that gets updated whenever a pang of guilt tugs at my conscience. Maybe its a cheap way if gaining some kind of absolution, maybe its to make you all feel a little better about yourselves and get a laugh or two at my expense. Anyway, here goes...

Lord of the land or patronising cave man?

It was a couple of winters ago, a real cold snap had taken hold of the area and the weekly shop was the last thing I wanted to leave the warmth of my house for. So, like a real winner I ordered it online to be delivered to the doorstep at my convenience

It had snowed hard the day before and plummeting temperatures that night had turned the outdoors into an ice rink. Of course I had no need to fear, I wasn't about to set foot outside anytime soon!

The delivery van pulled up and I opened the door expectantly only to see a small figure wrapped in thick company provided outdoorwear struggling up the driveway with a crate full of beer and pickled onions (never let it be said i dont know how to live!)

After what seemed like an eternity watching him slip and slide his way towards my door I stepped back making way for the obviously heavy crate to be placed at my feet.

"cheers mate" I offered in a half assed way of showing appreciation.

Looking up from the delivery I was horrified to see a young girl, probably fresh out of college looking at me with a polite but ultimately blank smile. Yes, shes thinking 'what a dickhead'

Before i can muster an apology she turns and trudges back to the van to collect the rest of my order. Now not only have a commited a social faux par
by assuming she was indeed a he, do i now go and offer help and appear a sexist pig also because surely in this day and age a woman cannot do a mans job? Or do i stand idol-like and watch her struggle and trip her way through the delivery in the vain attempt to restore some kind of dignity to the proceedings, but feel like an asshole for not offering to help?

What would you do?

Yep, I stood there like sn inconsiderate prick and left her to struggle on alone.

For this I ask forgiveness.

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