29 August 2012

The Suit is a lie

What goes through your mind when you see a man in a suit?

Bear with me.

Do you think: 'now theres a respectable chap, smart, clean shaved, drives a hybrid. Sure I'd trust him with my bank account/mortgage/young hot wife'.

Well look closer at the streaky tanned face. Notice those weathered wrinkles cutting rutts deep into the forehead. The over zealous use of product on rapidly thinning hair. Drink in the desperation eeking from those devious black ringed, pits of dispair we call eyes.

Thats what I see when a suit enters my field of vision.

                                                         Each more douschier than the last...

Now my bitterness is not misplaced due to losing my life savings in a pyramid scheme (not in this instance at least) it stems more from the fact that as a society we assume wearing a suit makes an individual somewhat trustworthy,that it carries an air of professionalism and (chortle) implies they know exactly what they are doing! This is of course nonsense.

                               Pictured: The one and only time I will make a political joke. This isn't BBC 2

Put a spotty McDonalds drive thru attendant in a Boss slim fitted suit and suddenly do his pronunciation, service skills and level of personal hygiene drastically improve? Dress a bin man in Calvin Kliens latest power suit and do the streets gleam and your recycling bins smell of new born babies?

Of course not. You still get lukewarm spit drenched Big Macs and bins that reek of a soiled tramp on a summers day.

So don't be taken in by the suit. Like momma always said:

"you can put a turd in a suit, but it'll always be a turd".

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